Fashion Show

ANA- Everyone seemed to think the Ducks simply had to revamp themselves awhile back, but I didn't even find the purple/green jerseys so terrible. In any case their overhaul was understandable but they pretty much failed. I am never a fan of this shade of gold, and the name and number font is way too big and blocky. The only good thing they had here was a very nice new D logo, which they had eschewed in favor of a lame wordmark. That is, until their current third, which is an absolute disaster. Instead of leaving the random orange (county?) stripe as a unique design element that would ostensibly grow on people, their thirds make me think they actually want their colors to be white, black, gold, red, and orange. Not gonna work guys. Easily the worst jersey to ever win a stanley cup.

DAL- Eh. One would think that simple and basic would easily win high marks, but this jersey doesn't do much for me at all. 1) I’ve yet to see a non-NCAA jersey where front numbers don't look extremely forced. 2) The removal of any “Stars” wording, design or motif (put the fucking stars back on the pants) is odd. 3) They seem to have made a conscious decision to become a black with a hint of gold and green team instead of green and black. Forget for a moment that they never should have been black to begin with, but the contrast on these jerseys just doesn't pop enough to seem like anything other than boring black and white.

PHO- I will again state for the record that I was a-ok with the original (not third) Yotes sweaters. But I can certainly see why they felt the need to change. The new ones are a total smash. One of the first teams to swing back towards the “less is more” motif with colors and design- but they did it smartly. They've made that odd sandish color their own, and it works with the shade of red (which is also unique enough to be “theirs”). The logo is on its way to being instantly recognizable. The font is classy and has been copied often. These would be perfect if they just got the lower horizontal stripe back. Oh, and yes, we will not speak of the thirds.

LA- In my mind they just cant get it right. Again- are you purple and black? black and white? yellow and purple? purple and yellow? As much as I dislike many things about their primary look: awful font, absurd glitter, even more absurd ‘Los Angeles’ wordmark on the hem- they should probably just stick with it and trot out the retros once in awhile. The current third is another instance where I wonder how much money the design company made to produce that outcome.

SJ- One of the more appalling jersey changes in recent memory, but like others I am grudgingly coming around to it. The current jerseys are nicely done, all of the colors are sharp, and the logo remains one of the better in the league. The black thirds, seemingly boring, look super bold on the ice. And looking back the ones they changed from weren't that great. But their original jersey is an outstanding and bold look that could easily have never been touched. Adding orange, a year after your rival just did it, and for no seeming reason, is still a head-scratcher.

MIN- I prefer the two jerseys they wore from the very beginning to any of the tweaks or thirds they have done since. None of these have ever been bad though, and MIN knows they have a color scheme that defines them and looks sharp. The name font is way too thin and compressed, which is actually a legit flaw. The cartoonish flair on the numbers is obviously lame, but again, after 10 years, it eases the shock.

EDM- These are practice jerseys, and I won’t waste my time detailing what I don't like about one of the more tradition-based teams in the league trotting out there in something less inspired than I probably wore in tryouts 15 years ago.

VAN- Gorgeous. The only thing separating them from perfection is the font, which Id say falls somewhere on my taste spectrum between “eh” and “aggressively hate”. Everyone knows about the absurd uniform/color history of this franchise. Strangely, I don't think they’ve ever had a jersey I didn’t like. But this is the best of the bunch, and the colors/logos are awesomely tied to the region, the city, and its hockey history. Stick with it forever, vancity.


COL- This would be my lesson to a newer team. I hate the avs jerseys. I always have. I hate the colors- blue and burgundy go well everywhere else but here for some reason, perhaps because it is way too dark to contrast nicely (which they address on the new thirds). I hate the completely inappropriate use of plain black pants, helmets, and gloves, when this isn't one of your teams colors. This isn't a rec league where you get bulk discount for boring black stock gloves. I hate the absurd striping patterns (ooh, its a mountain? whatever). I hate the comical sasquatch foot secondary mark. I hate the number font worse than any in history. I hate the compressed, arched names. And I hate the logo, which looks less like an avalanche than (forgot who said this first) someone smearing a booger on a giant A. And yet....this is the Avalanche. They can tinker with traditional looking retro 3rds, or go baby blue with a third (even though they have yet to incorporate this nicer blue into any of their other jerseys) because over 15+ years they have established themselves as a brand. I dislike it, but its stuck, and I now when I watch the avs, I don't really notice how much I hate the unis. They’ve won the war of attrition.

CAL- Pick your poison for worst design element: the stupid side stripes that perhaps are supposed to line up but don’t? the laughably bad shoulder flag patches? Turning the ‘C of Red’ into a burned black thing? Black numbers on a red jersey? Whichever you choose works for me. WRETCHED. Something about the new retro 3rd seems slightly off to me. Maybe the red is too light? Clearly an upgrade on the existing monstrosity, but a little less wow than I’d imagine.

DET- Can’t mess with perfection. Unchanged in a long time. The vertically arched names are one of the cooler touches in the league. Terrific logo. I like the white much more than the red, which while great is slightly plain.

CBJ- I think enough has been said here.

STL- Sigh. It should be pretty difficult to mess up this jersey. STL suffered one of the worst RBK transitions in the league, losing any stripes and way too much yellow. From the upper deck the blues white jerseys are indistinguishable from ATL, FLA, etc. The third is nice but as a whole they seem to have gone to blue/dark blue/darker blue and abandoned everything else.

NAS- EP take note, as my thoughts on the Preds may conflict with my thoughts stated above for other teams. Even though until their recent thirds, Nash has had an extremely consistent color and jersey scheme, I don't think it ever gave them much of an identity. The older style ones had the gross silvery reflective fabric popular in 90s bubble jackets. The new whites look like practice jerseys and exactly like many other teams. The closest thing they’ve probably ever had to an enduring look was the mustard jersey. Apparently they are going to go with the new 3rds and the checkerboard pattern as their full-time look. Meh.

BOS- A few tweaks from what they've has in the past, but still a pretty sharp jersey and iconic look with the yellow socks. Probably my least favorite original 6 (current) jersey. The black alternate is unspectacular and needless.

TOR- The addition of silver to the Leafs’ wardrobe is thankfully gone. The current model is as good as it gets- stripes are back, the font is normal, and the 2 tone scheme has never looked crisper.

MTL- No one will ever say anything bad about these. The red with the center stripe is absolutely iconic, and the thin stripes of the white are awesome as well.

OTT- Yikes. Why those jagged red lines near the bottom? Why no horizontal stripe at the bottom? Why does the Senator look so brutal? The third jersey is actually quite bold color-wise, but no one is going to take “SENS” seriously, ever.

ATL- Possibly the oddest 3 jersey set in the league. I don't really mind that all of them are so unique, but i don't like any of them. In fact, I rotate which I like the least all the time. I have no idea what the deal with this font or the design element on the bottom stripe were, but these were ok. This is not.

FLA- Lost in the wilderness, just like on the ice. It sounds lame repeating it, but there was nothing wrong with their jerseys at all pre-lockout. Great contrasting colors. Now they are cookie-cutter RBK scraps. The thirds are odd, but nice looking, and have spawned some imitators.

CAR- I’ve liked these from the beginning. The angled name and number font is cool, red/black is hard to mess up, and the logo and striping are both great. The only complaint would be the glitter in the silver, but an all-around solid uniform.

WAS- These have grown on me. They aren't perfect, but they are probably the best jersey the team has ever worn. As is common now, the blue is quite dark and the pants are boring, two missed opportunities. But I don't think anyone in DC is complaining.

TB- Apparently ditching the black next year. Bold. The bolts have always done it their way, and their current set is actually OK, even with the usual gross RBK touches. The third looks great if you an avert your eyes from the chest. I will miss the bolt pants.

NJ- For such a classic, long lasting and traditional color scheme, I don't fawn over these, but they certainly don’t do anything wrong, and they have a superior logo.

NYR- Don’t ever change. And stop with the thirds. Great pants.

PHI- Lots of tweaks to this set over the years have finally left them with a pretty unique template- which has of course, begun to be copied. I like the nameplates quite a bit, and the return to predominantly orange is good. The whites look slightly blah on TV, as the orange kindve becomes a bit pink to my eyes. And anything looks like shit on Mike Richards.

PIT- I really dislike these. I’ve just never warmed up to this totally muted shade of gold/yellow, and the striping patterns and name font annoy me just enough that I notice them.

NYI- Never did I think I would say this. The NYI have the nicest white jerseys in the league. I think this is absolutely perfect. Bold contrast, perfect fonts, and the whole set is tied together with banging pants stripes. The blue is terrific too, but there’s too much competition for dark jersey crown.